We interrupt this wedding description to bring you... A different wedding description...

Rod and Anna - what can I say - if you were there then you had fun. If you weren't there you missed a rambling rap of a speech which I gave at the reception. In case you want to read it (in an appropriate Rap Hero voice) this should also be accompanied by mad hand gestures and your sidekick beatboxing. Jam!

It’s the R to the A yeah you know they be

Comin’ down to hitch real officially

Gonna tell tall tales how they roll with we

Spend some spare change it’s celebratory

20 years of history, line it up

Taking vintage memories for to pour in your cup

Better get ready for dis-narrative-play

Might learn suffink man, so just don’t look away

Now I know this cat from so way back

Introduced by our mothers and that’s a fact

Way back right before balls even dropped

Rod Tom & I played till the light done stopped

Lived in the hills, no we wasn’t robbin banks, sir

But knockin around, we was effectively gangsters

Takin bikes out to roll in Arbury Park

Mostly staying out till almost dark

From lamp-post to lamp-post, we ran those roads

Listenin Beastie Boys, PE, De La Soul

Rod tha odd bod yo always be shod

In da Vision Streetwear full skaty mod(e)

It’s the R to the T yeah to tha A to tha G

Comin’ all the way to tha Antipodes

Gonna tell tall tales how we roll with thee

Poetic license to drive in 27 countries

Now you can trust me down to my word

He’s come to profess the love for his bird

But there was the time for better or worse

Before the man knew the woman, so here come da verse

Cos we joined up da Scouts, dyb dob knob throb

With Mike the cool guy and us impressionable cobs

Used to lash up some towers with rope and spikes

Maybe Rod learned some skills for tha bedroom nights

Went for some hikes, saw some wicked sights

Onkaparinga Gorge was a pure delight

Somewhere around this time we all got a surprise

Our balls done drop and girls entered our lives

Now this meant a lot, to these hills boy grots

Had to buy whole load of hair product from shops

Rod made some choices some good and some strange

Remember once I consoled him cause the girl was deranged

It’s the R to the A yeah you know they be

Comin’ down to hitch real officially

Gonna tell tall tales how they roll with we

Spend some spare change it’s celebratory

Cast your mind back, like a reel on a rod

Summer time Yorke Peninsula, hot as a dog

Rollin in Jefferson, funk in the trunk

Got the boards on the roof, then we heard a clunk

Killer road full o gypsum, white hard like ice

Crazy laughin just stops as the engine subsides

Mother*****er says Rod, accelerator is slack

Nothin doin on the pedals, Volkswagen is cact(us)

We jump from the car, we get under the hood (we)

Then see a lick of flame where the fuel line should be

We panic and the girlfriends done drag us away

As the open lickin flame it continues to spray

On the engine, on the oil, as the radiator boils

By now all our boardshorts are fully soiled

And I’ll never forget, the anguished cry

Not for the car but the board, sending cinders to sky

Five tyres exploded, like mini-granades

Fire brigade, out of range, and this car was not saved

But the lesson was learned, don’t be caught like a fool

Get a coke can extinguisher if your car’s air-cooled

Now Killick is da O.G. through and through

And we drove back in Bryan he was thinking and blue

So a few weeks later, he’s reaped the rewards

Turned the car into cash, with insurance of course…

Tank fly, boss walk, jam nitty gritty

You’re listenin to the boy from the big bad city, this is jam hot. Cos this is Anna’n’Rod.

Been a worldwide romance, Miss Belbin, RK

Jet set from six-thousand miles away

She’s a beauty bright spark, captured his heart

And his soul, imagination, right from the start

Only met her few times, London, Perth, Adelaide

Arr-riffic to a T, Rod’s got it made

She’s no pushover now, keeps my man in line

Got a cool London accent, from time to time

So it’s R O D to the Anna B

Wind that back, that’s a K not a B

Indubitably, unequivocally, unabashedly, absolutely, utterly, completely, enormously, totally and fully in L. O. V. E.